You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
