I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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