If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
