Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
