he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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