what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
