Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we made out on top of his cat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
