Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
