it hurts more in the daytime
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
