I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
operation have a gay friend backfired
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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