I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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