Small penises have feelings too.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
