Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
