sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
