I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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