East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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