you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
