I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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