Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
