She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
