take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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