There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
