Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
