We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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