YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
MIDGETS
????
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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