Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
