just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
