If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
