He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
