i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
