so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize