Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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