I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The uberlube is also flammable
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
