You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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