Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
