your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
