You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
