Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
