My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize