I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
