I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
