I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
