hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
