I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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