i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Randomize
