Having a random hookup so left but love u
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
