They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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