Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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