doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
