She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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