The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
