Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
