Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
