i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
