if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
