honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
