Yo dont text me then not text me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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