Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
