she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
