how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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