i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
