I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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