I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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