I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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