The maid of honor just puked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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