I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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